03 On Travel

And thus Achmed, an enterprising young travel agent (proprietor of Club Achmed) said:

Speak to us of the distant lands you have seen, and tell us which of these the weary traveler might seek for a quiet get-away.

The prophet replied:
I boarded a train to the modern world, and found it to be a world of evils. Thence, I hitched a ride to the postmodern world, and found it to be a place of cynics. Everyone I met there was a prophet. And everything the prophets prophesied was true. For truth was relative, and everything was relatively true.

Astrology, personology and pop-psychology - you just couldn’t go wrong. Work became simple, but boring. There was so much new-age good feeling to go around, that I very nearly made the fatal mistake of slitting my wrists. Existence felt as empty as a mixed metaphor, straining to break free from the pages of a two bit blog. I found myself once more, helplessly pining for the evils of the modern world.

With this the prophet scratched his balls for emphasis, and pulled out a cigarette.