17 On Charity

Then a google plexillonaire said, Speak to us of charity.
And he answered, saying dreamily:
Oh young virgins who do make much of time. Don’t let purity of soul hinder you from knowing true sexual fulfillment.

And the rich man, impatient (for time is money) said:
Not chastity. Charity.

And the prophet began anew. And he said:
Oh.

One day the “Save the Whales” campaign made a pit-stop at my door, and I gave what I could. And then the “Save the Whale Hunt” people dropped in, and I did not shun them.

I gave to the environmental protection fund, and I gave to the urban development fund also. I like to give. Sometimes it’s good to give to both sides for it will keep them going. But I never give to the government if I can help it, for the government needs only deceit, bingo games and a barrel of pork, to keep itself going.

Taxes are the only charity I do not believe in.

Fortunately the old tax collector, still slowly fighting his way to the front, was spared this part of the discourse, for his fading ears transmitted naught but static.